Pepperoni

Lane Manning — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 02:09:28 +0000

It’s been one of those weeks where you think it is going to be a good one. You’ve got everything all planned out-meetings are prepared for, checklists are made, time is blocked out on your calendar for some “you time”, you have a full staff of people to delegate work to, your hairdresser said she’d do your hair for your wedding, “Here Come the Newlyweds” voted off the two most annoying people in the world, your craving for Mike-n-Ike’s is satisfied, your cable box is fixed so you can watch 90201 while on the elliptical, you were able to forget you are almost 30 and crawled around on the ground with, who is going to quickly have her daddy wrapped around her little finger, a 6-month old beautiful angel with a devilish side to her girl and hear her laugh so hard you didn’t think she was going to stop, and your wedding ring is insured. It’s gonna be a great week.

Then, the clock ticks over to 9am on Monday and all hell breaks loose. All of a sudden, before you even know it, your “you time” has been double booked over, the meetings you prepped for you can’t make it to, because you have been “beckoned” to other important meetings where you are told that you should come up with a process so that you can be more proactive about making changes and be more prepared and more effective at your job. Sure, I’ll work on that, I say to everyone in the room, but silently I think to myself that the process for being more proactive about making changes is called: we-have-a-friggen-process-to-make-sure-there-are-not-any-after-the-fact-changes-but-since-all-of-you-have-selective-amnesia-you-don’t-remember-what-you-agreed-to-before-and-now-we-will-have-to-stop-the-presses-for-this-less-than-business-critical-change-which-will-cost-the-company-$$$-but-hold-for-one-minute-so-I-can-submit-my-purchase-request-for-a-pencil-because-we-are-on-a-tight-budget-and-cannot-afford-to-buy-pencils process. Maybe the process is too long and that is why they can’t remember it. I’m sure that’s it.

So, all I want now is a Toppers thin crust pepperoni pizza. That is all I want. Nothing more… and the whole pizza for that matter. They make the best thin crust pepperoni pizza, and even though it does not fit into the 6-8 points I have allotted for this meal, Weight Watchers has to know that I deserve a few (or 20) more points for tonite. I just want to stuff my face with this pizza and that will make everything better for tonite. Tomorrow I may feel like crap, but that might not be from the pizza. The pizza guy comes to the door with my saviour… little slices from heaven… I give him a great tip because I am so happy to be finally getting something I want when I want it to satisfy a need for myself.

I put the pizza boxes down (I got the breadsticks, too-that is an absolute necessity when ordering Toppers), and as I was sitting down, I open the pizza box, start to grab for a heavenly slice of cheesey, pepperoni with special seasoning thin crust, crunchy pizza and, dammit, it’s thick crust. THICK CRUST! THICK CRUST! Are you for serious? I pick up the phone, call them back and place my compliant. Normally I wouldn’t do that, but all I wanted tonite was a thin crust pepperoni pizza from Toppers. That is all I wanted. 45 minutes later, I finally get my thin crust pizza.

So, now I’m sitting here, by myself watching reruns of The Office with two Large pepperoni pizzas and some breadsticks sitting in front of me and I’m not even hungry anymore. Well, at least I’ve got leftovers for lunch tomorrow.

One last thing… if you wake up one night after drinking just enough to almost make you forget about how bad your favorite team got crushed by Davidson, and are severely hung over, I don’t recommend using mouth wash in the morning. Kind of makes you want to throw up in your mouth a little bit… or actually throw up. sly-Naner

My2ROOTS » Naner

Pepperoni